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How to to Keep Your Cool when Dealing with Criticism.
No
matter how tough you appear on the outside, dealing
with criticism is hard. If you’re the victim of
a harsh critique, whether justified or not, here are
five ways to keep your cool and diffuse what could spiral
into a heated situation!.
1.
One of the toughest kinds of criticisms to handle is
an unjust accusation. Even though it’s tempting,
don’t stage a comeback with equally defensive,
biting or embarrassing personal remarks. The accuser
may have just been misinformed. Instead, ask the criticizer
questions and probe into their comments. Often, there
is some underlying cause for their accusation. If it’s
truly unjust, you’ll be able to mend the problem
and state the facts right there on the spot.
2.
If you immediately assume the defense, your critic will
feel as if their message just hit a brick wall, and
they’ll keep trying to insist and focus on the
problem. By listening constructively, you’ll indicate
that you’ve heard their criticism and that you
intend to follow up on the problem. Even better, ask
the critic what THEY would do differently if they were
in your situation. Chances are, you’ll get a lot
of feedback and perhaps some solid ideas and suggestions
as well.
3.
If the discussion becomes heated, lower your voice for
every level your critic raises theirs. This shows not
only that you’re calm and collected (even if your
blood is boiling underneath), but puts the spotlight
on the other person, embarrassing them to some degree
because they were unable to maintain a reasonable tone
and temper.
4.
Show that you’re more interested in solving the
problem than arguing for your point of view. Sometimes,
an honest critique can be a delicate way of informing
you of a particular problem that no one else notices
or wants to share. Don’t be too quick to defend
yourself or judge your accuser, and take the complaints
and suggestions in stride. Chances are, it will give
you some insights into improvements you can make that
you ordinarily may have overlooked or not even considered.
5.
If the issues begin to get out of hand, and you feel
yourself starting to lose your cool, take a deep breath
to gather your thoughts and ask your accuser for specific
details and points that led them to bring this item
to your attention. You may uncover the heart of the
real matter and the real reason for their biting remarks,
and it may even be something totally unrelated to the
matter at hand!
Remember
though, you can’t please all the people all the
time. Some people are simply never satisfied. Overlook
these shortsighted individuals and know deep down that
you are making positive progress despite their attempts
to drag you down. When you know that you’ve done
your best, the bitter pill of criticism will feel more
like a hearty dose of good medicine, and that makes
all kinds of criticism easier to take.
1howto.com
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